You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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