you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
