Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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