its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
