to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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