she kept yelling 'call me bella'
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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