I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
