I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
