i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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