i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
