You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
