On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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