Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
