omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
