so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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