of course. lets lasso hookers.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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