You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
