Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
