i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
