Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
