Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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