The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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