Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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