Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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