Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
