Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
