I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
