dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
