i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
