I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
