Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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