You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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