how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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