Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
