Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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