I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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