dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
