if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
