We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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