I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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