Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
