Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
