Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
