I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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