How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
