I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
