Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
