Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
