you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I fill condoms, not promises.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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