The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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